Friday, September 11, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
I Hope We Fail
Failure is a Good Thing
Jon Carroll October 9, 2006
Last week, my granddaughter started kindergarten, and, as is conventional, I wished her success. I was lying. What I actually wish for her is failure. I believe in the power of failure.
Success is boring. Success is proving that you can do something that you already know you can do, or doing something correctly the first time, which can often be a problematical victory. First-time success is usually a fluke. First-time failure, by contrast, is expected; it is the natural order of things.
Failure is how we learn. I have been told of an African phrase describing a good cook as "she who has broken many pots." If you've spent enough time in the kitchen to have broken a lot of pots, probably you know a fair amount about cooking. I once had a late dinner with a group of chefs, and they spent time comparing knife wounds and burn scars. They knew how much credibility their failures gave them.
I earn my living by writing a daily newspaper column. Each week I am aware that one column is going to be the worst column of the week. I don't set out to write it; I try my best every day. Still, every week, one column is inferior to the others, sometimes spectacularly so.
I have learned to cherish that column. A successful column usually means that I am treading on familiar ground, going with the tricks that work, preaching to the choir or dressing up popular sentiments in fancy words. Often in my inferior columns, I am trying to pull off something I've never done before, something I'm not even sure can be done.
My younger daughter is a trapeze artist. She spent three years putting together an act. She did it successfully for years with the Cirque du Soleil. There was no reason for her to change the act -- but she did anyway. She said she was no longer learning anything new and she was bored; and if she was bored, there was no point in subjecting her body to all that stress. So she changed the act. She risked failure and profound public embarrassment in order to feed her soul. And if she can do that 15 feet in the air, we all should be able to do it.
My granddaughter is a perfectionist, probably too much of one. She will feel her failures, and I will want to comfort her. But I will also, I hope, remind her of what she learned, and how she can do whatever it is better next time. I probably won't tell her that failure is a good thing, because that's not a lesson you can learn when you're five. I hope I can tell her, though, that it's not the end of the world. Indeed, with luck, it is the beginning.
I realize that this revelation to me, is probably not so remarkable to those of my readers who are older than me; however, I think often the most profound things in life we simply need to remind each other of from time to time. I am sure that I will need to be reminded of the value of failure the very next time I fail. I am comforted to know that even in my greatest weaknesses there rests the ability to grow my strongest. It is in the redemptive paradox of reality that I see and thank God for his perfect Grace. And for a achievement oriented, control freak... I am joyful to have a different perspective to view my failures.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Shows Galore
These are must sees for any of you the next time you get to the Big Apple! And don't forget to plan your trip a little ahead of time. While ticket prices can be expensive, paying full price should always be your last option. Rush, Lottery, and even going TKTS in time square are all ways that the savvy show goer can see the best of what New York has to offer without breaking the bank. Playbill.com is a great resource to find out information cheap ways to get tickets. Oh and always invite your friends, cause that makes everything more fun!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Billy Elliot the Musical
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Life Lessons
Read about this column written by Regina Brett, a 90-year-old resident of Cleveland, Ohio the other day on another blog. In her column, Regina recounts 45 of the most important life lessons. I think they are all worth my attention, and I hope I can learn them for own life and for the sake of those around me!
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
What are some life lessons you would add to this list?
Monday, June 22, 2009
Dinner at the Mesa Grill
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Each Day
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Irvin House Wines and Firefly Distillery
Monday, May 25, 2009
Celebrating 50 Years of Alvin Ailey
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Spoleto Sand Sculptures
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Her Morning Elegance
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
DAZE
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Weren't that we had died in Egypt
Sunday, March 22, 2009
A Person is a Person
The most prominent issue is certainly about the rights of a child vs the rights of the mother/parents. Who's rights take precedence? How are these rights awarded? Is the very notion of rights a social construction, or are they imbued or granted by an external? If they are innately a part of some one's life, then when does life begin? Does life begin at conception, does it begin at some point of consciousness, or does life begin in a theoretical way at possibility or potentiality of life? As of this issue isn't complex enough we now add another issue that is inextricably tied to this one. Despite where you come down on the issue of priority of rights, a separate question is whether or not it should be the government or public's role to limit in any way the rights of any party? In my opinion I find this question easier to tackle... and perhaps it is through first handling this issue that informs my decision on the primary issue of rights. I believe that one of the primary and most foundational responsibility of Government (and hence the public) is to protect the rights of those that cannot protect themselves. In this case, through no fault of their own by through the decisions of others a fetus is conceived. This fetus, which I believe has life at the very least at the point of conception, I believe does have rights. I believe that it is the government's job to consider how and seek to protect that life from the harm of others.
What about a mother who is wrongly taken advantage of and thus has had pregnancy imposed upon her for some reason other than her own decisions (such as rape)? We can address this in our legal system! All laws have caveats and particularities. By the way, instants of abortion related to these causes are about 1% o all the abortions that occur. This percentage is certainly manageable and not a viable cloak for others to hide behind to maintain their oppression of others.
So, back to our question of who's rights should be exonerated? I have to side with the child in this case. Clearly this is a tough issue no matter how you come at it. But I think that abortion for many has become another way for people, especially young adults or children, to disengage with the reality of their actions. While carrying a child to birth can be a very impacting process for any woman research has shown considerable damage or impact up on participants of abortion, both physical and moreover emotional. The option of adoption is certainly a better choice for all involved. I think that at this point in time there are others that can give more information and justification for this point of view... and in fact I have a short clip to show how one incredibly thoughtful and engaging twelve year old has done that. Check out her clip:
Even though you can't hear them or see them at all, a Person is a Person no matter how small. ~ Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thank YOU!
Yeah, my last blog was right after MLK day! Sorry I suck at keeping this thing updated. So often I feel like its not a big deal if I don't post because for some reason I think no one reads my post. But then I hear from wonderful friends who encourage me to blog more. So this Blog is really a little thank you note! I was recently talking to a friend over dinner and she and I were discussing the development of gratitude in people. She made a comment about keeping a "grateful journal" (basically a journal where you commit to writing down something your grateful for everyday. I can barely remember to pray every day, so I'm not ready to start this venture! But her mentioning did remind me of one of my professor's wives at Geneva who did this. She said it was really easy at first because there are so many big things we are grateful for like our family and stuff; but after the first month she said that she really had to think about things and then she started noticing that she was looking for things throughout her day that she was grateful for. This attention began disciplining her thought life into noticing all things in her day to day life that she was truly grateful for.
In that spirit, I would like to say that I am grateful to my blog encouragers. In an attempt to really show you my gratitude, I am going to make a bold and dangerous move by naming you: Jan (aka Mom), Danny Clapp, Christian Lorey (MFU), Rachel Menke (BT), Rachel Hundley (even though you encourage me more to reply on facebook), April Emery, and YOU! Okay, Before I go any further, please, please, please... If I have left you out, I am deeply sorry! My biggest deterrent to mentioning people directly was the fear that I would forget important encouragers like you. So, if you're reading this and thinking, "That jerk, what about me!" You are the YOU at the end of the list. And the fact that you are even reading my blog is a HUGE encouragement to me! So feel free to comment, subscribe, or just keep reading, because I am grateful for your prescence here.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Celebrating an Icon: Inspiring a Better Future
He was one person. One person who realized he was called to do something beyond himself. One person who's thoughts went beyond himself and toward his neighbor. One person who decided to speak for those without voice; to act for those with out power; and to remind humankind, not of something they didn't know, but of a truth they really did. There has never been any question about how Dr. King was able to stand up to such adversity. Dr. King was sure of what he could not see, he was knew that his dreams were that of the creators and there was promise for that reality. "For if God is for us, who can be against us." (Rom. 8:31) Upon thinking about Dr. King and his gift of public speaking, I am completely captured by part of a speech he made to a group of students in 1959. A proposal that I pray I am able to give to the people in my life.
Quote comes from a speech Dr. King made to a group of students in 1959
Whatever career you may choose for yourself -- doctor, lawyer, teacher -- let me propose an avocation to be pursued along with it. Become a dedicated fighter for civil rights. Make it a central part of your life.
It will make you a better doctor, a better lawyer, a better teacher. It will enrich your spirit as nothing else possibly can. It will give you the rare sense of nobility that can only spring from love and selflessly helping your fellow man. Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.
The fight isn't over. The war isn't yet won. As far as we have come, there is still work to be done. And it is work that is too valuable to give up on. Slavery isn't dead. In fact, there are more slaves in the world today than there were during the 1800's in America... 27 million to be a little more accurate. Equal rights for all humans are not yet a reality; not even in our own country. But do not be discouraged beloved, you are a special one who has purpose. Yes, you are one. You are one person. One person who can think outside of themselves and act. One person that can speak for those without a voice. One person that can act for those without power. One persona that can change the world. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
Believe in the beauty of your dreams and make a career of humanity.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Let it Snow!
It's 5:00 p.m. we now have about 6"... It isn't supposed to stop until midnight tonight.
I'm both delighted and appalled.
Friday, January 09, 2009
New
Now, that I'm back into the swing of things I can blog all about it! So the quick and dirty on my vacation: Christmas at home in Charleston - AMAZING! It was 76 degrees on Christmas day and 78 the day after. Jesus was really blessing me with the weather. It had been almost a year since I'd been home and I was sorely missing the beautiful environment of my childhood. I spent mornings walking on the beach with my mom and our dog rivers, evening catching movies with my stepdad. A couple afternoons with my sister, and a whole day with my dad (which even included a mad dash to the toy store for a replacement for my little brother's gift from santa--a big deal and a lot of fun)! All in all it was so good. At the end of my time there I ended up getting sick with some throat disease, but after a z-pack and some advil I was good to go!
New Years was spent in one of my favorite cities... The Big Apple. And even better it was spent with one of my best friends. Rachel, who has just moved to Manhattan with a sweet law firm doing international law, got us great VIP tickets to an Irish pub right off time square. At 11:30 we ran down the street caught the countdown and the ball... sang Steve Wonder's "It's a Wonderful World" and then partied on. Another treat was that my uncle was in town and so I got to spend some really wonderful time with him, and even got to go hangout in the Zegna showroom. It was beautiful and there were several coats that I fell in love with! Ex.A...
So the holidays were great. I'm now back at home, back at work, and back at school. Speaking of which, I already have an assignment for my new phd course on curriculum. I'm really excited about the course, the prof is one of my favorite in the program and from the reading it seems like the class will be challenging in the best of ways! Thanks for taking the time to catch up with me~ Read. Think. Respond> leave a comment.